Things I've learned from vanilla Rome: Total War

1. The Res Publica Romana was a confederacy that consisted of 4 factions.
2. Ancient soldiers loved using dyed clothes - despite the fact that they were extremely expensive.
3. Parthians really loved pink.
4. The idea that Egypt was a Hellen state during 3rd century BC is a myth – the country was ruled by the pharaohs from the New Kingdom.
5. Christian priests and gladiators casually took part in battles.
6. Controlling the colossus on Rhodes actually increased trade profit by 40%
7. Romans were actually Americans sent back in time
8. For some reason Iberia was actually a country at that time.
9. Maybe that's because there were people who were calling themselves "Spanish" living there during that time period.
10. The Roman Republic fell around 220 BC after a bloody civil war between the aforementioned four Roman factions and became the Roman Empire.
11. Parthians really loved pink
12. Nothing can beat Praetorian cavalry, not even Cataphracts.
13 The Gallic wars happened a lot sooner than everyone think they did - around 280 BC.
14. German troops actually formed phalanx in battle.
15. Noble children always look exactly the same.
16. The Seleucids never had a properly sized empire - they only extended from Sardis to Seleucia.
17. The different Roman factions believed in different deities but there were no temples in Rome itself.
18. Successor military training for phalangites included daily masturbation to build up the muscles of their right hand. This enabled them to hold their 18 foot pikes with a single-handed grip 6 inches from the end.
19. The Britons conquered Gaul and Germania.
20. By 200 BC the Spartans were still the greatest soldiers in the world. They also wore a red dress.
21. Parthians really loved pink.
22. The Britons threw the heads of fallen foes back at the enemy with devastating results.
23. Sea travel from Greece to Egypt takes a year.
24. There was an international agreement on the clothing of diplomats.
25. The word "alliance" has shifted since antiquity, as it used to be a declaration of war in 6 months if you shared a border with the country that offered it.
26. The correct spelling of the pluralization of the Scipio family name, is Scipii, not Scipiones.
27. By the year 200 BC the Romans expanded throughout Germania, Scythia, Arabia, and Saharan Africa.
28. Despite popular belief, the famous lorica segmentata armor was actually invented in the late 200s BC, not the early ADs.
29. Parthians really loved pink.
30. Peasants would rather fight with a tiny knife than a spear
31. The arcani (yes, naturally it's "arcani", the historians have always just misspelled it as "areani") were an elite unit of ninjas.
32. Greek hoplites used the Macedonian phalanx.
33. Hannibal actually fell in battle the first time he met the Romans in combat. And he usually fell a few decades before his supposed birth.
34. The best armor the Greeks could afford for their general's bodyguard was a straw hat.
35. The Roman gladius was used for midless slahsing in battles.
36. After Alexander's death the Macedonians became Wannabe-Spartans who used the lambda as their nation's symbol.
37. Parthians were uncivilized people that couldn't even pave their roads.
38. By the way, they also really loved pink.
39. Even though Carthaginians were the greatest traders of their time, and thus very rich, they didn't dye their clothes.
40. Greek hoplite mercenaries loved hanging aroud in the steppes of Russia.
41. All Berbers were muslims in the year 363 AD.
42. During 3rd century BC, the Gulf of Finland, the seas around Copenhagen and the Red Sea around Sinai were the most pirate infested waters on earth.
43. Urban Cohort was the mightiest infantry unit of the antique world. This is surely somehow related to the fact that they were mostly firefighers.
44. The main social function of the Celtic druids was to babble incoherently at the enemy army during battles.
45. The Seleucid Empire had legionaries.
46. Rhodes and Pergamon were under Spartan dominion.
47. Parthians really loved pink.

Merry Winter-een-mas!